Me and one of my oldest and fiercest business associates had a meaningful encounter last week. He is to remain anonymous, so I will refer to him as Macedonian (Or simply Mace, pronounced as Make). Macedonian has had the most respectful success in T&A Business segments for many years and I kindly asked him to give 51% of his business. He declined. I did not like that. Not one bit.
I then decided to undertake some hostile takeovers in a bid to try disrupt Macedonians effective business monopoly. I tinkered with Mueslify Machine Learning Algorithms & AI to take advantage of a certain app-based customer acquisition channel. AI very quickly learned to "swipe" every potential customer aged 18-30 "to the right" (Entschuldigung for all technical jargon for less capable readers). In a matter of days, I was able to acquire as much as 1% of Macedonians customer base. And all this with little or none capital invested. Another tremendous success for our fund!
After acquiring these customers, I was faced with an optimization problem. Luckily, Mueslify Machine Learning Algorithms & AI once again solved the business problem in no time. The solution was to provide Quick & Dirty -service model to my young and inexperienced customer base: it would make no sense to try beat Macedonian in his own game! (Macedonian is known to provide very thorough and customized service to each customer according to their current needs.)
Mueslify Strategy proved to be a success in less than a week and our fund will continue to scale this new business even further. Next step in our way to the unicorn status will be optimizing our customer database with Mueslify Machine Learning & AI. I'm already happy to report positive future earnings to my Jewish Auditor! He will be delighted.
Macedonian, your business will be disrupted. Parabellum.