Since January, the 2020s has taken an unexpected turn for the worse for many investors. Muesli Venture Capital on the other hand has foreseen the inevitable revaluation of risky assets and made the necessary precautionary alterations to its portfolio and investment strategy. In the heart of all our success, is our fundamental trust in DeepMuesli Artificial Intelligence.
We estimated already last year that correction in the equity markets is long overdue and was likely to be sparked by an unexpected event that would lead to discount in risky assets. Our Hindsight Analysis Department has confirmed this to be true last month. Our absolute advantage of course being Muesli Neural Machine Learning Network Algorithms & AI and its tremendous calculation capacity, our fund is more secure than other fraudulent funds! Our auditors are working day and night to maximize our profits in 2020Q1.
But as it has turned out. Even the most precautionary methods are sometimes not good enough. We estimated that it would need at least 25-sigma event for our fund to lose money. Last month, our fund was hit by a 30-sigma event. How unlucky is that! As an unrelated and totally uncorrelated note, MuesliCoin has now officially lost all its investor confidence in open market. Therefore, Muesli Venture Capital will stop supporting its price with continuous buybacks and realize its losses in second quarter this year. Total losses will be announced later by our Jewish Auditor.
Meanwhile, Muesli Tech Team is already preparing a new set of MuesliCoin II to be offered later this year. Preorder for ICO together with Early Bird Tickets to Burning Muesli now! Event will be held on secret location in late Summer.
Despite equity prices all around the world dropping sharply and the world collapsing around us, Muesli Venture Capital keeps investing for future growth opportunities. Our fund has now switched its fair value method to expected returns valuation method by Mueslinture Consultation Services. Hence, our profits this year will be greater than ever before, and it will increase our free cash flow balances accordingly.
Instead of paying dividends to our fund shareholders, our fund will responsibly make a bid for Stockmann Real Estate in Aleksanterinkatu, Helsinki. This will allow our fund to further increase our DeepMuesli AI Centralized Neural Network Server Capacity in heart of Helsinki. Better AI capacity equals better investment opportunities for our fund. The potential is tremendous! The world will know that Muesli Venture Capital is ready for business while all other funds are not. More others lose money, more we gain.
As a precautionary method, our fund has now prohibited its shareholders from depositing their assets from our management. This is purely reasonable: we want to ensure ample liquidity to secure our fund against possible losses on leveraged MuesliCoin-Backed Securities Credit Default Swaps. And have no fear, we will make money for us. Now, we need you all to sit tight and trust Muesli AI to do its magic. Any investor who threatens to sue us, will get a visit from our friend Luigi with a baseball bat.
Post Scriptum: People at Muesli Venture Capital are already waiting anxiously for the long-awaited new book Meditations From Below Volume 1 by Markus Karvelius. Meditations From Below is by far the most important book of the century filled with insightful business anecdotes and life lessons. There is something for everyone, a true modern stoic classic in the making. The majestic 420 page long spectacle is the unofficial self-biography of Marcus Karvelius and is solely constructed from his private memoirs that have only recently become in public domain.
May the Muesli be with you.