Muesli Voting Rights

I had an excellent conversation with one of my old business associates the other day. He came to Muesli London Offices to pitch and seek capital for his new business. The business itself was good, but I hated the guy. Muesli only does business with top professionals and he was certainly not one of them.

After thorough Due Diligence by our Muesli Neural Machine Learning Algorithms & AI, I decided to demand 51% of his business. And here is the trick, what makes Mueslify so unique in the world of Venture Capital: not only do we demand 51% of ownership rights, we also demand majority voting rights in the company’s board. I almost laughed to death, when he signed the paper and gave me a clear majority in his own company. What a jackass! Instead of seed money, I persuaded him to accept line of credit from Mueslify Affiliate Muesli Loans LLC ($JUNK). It truly was a great day. I didn’t even have to use my PE.

I immediately summoned my Jewish Auditor, who with the help of our Muesli Legal Department ousted the fool of his powers and made him resign from the position of CEO. That is how Muesli operates. If you don’t have what it takes, we won’t let you tear down our shareholder value. I heard, some less successful venture funds, such as the Vision Fund have failed to secure necessary voting rights to directly influence the company from top down. We at Muesli Venture, think differently. We don't just invest. We lead.

Our Legal Department is happy to consult all our businesses about Muesli Corporate Governance: a whole new way of thinking and restructuring companies board structures. Who else would be better in running your business than us? That was not rhetoric question. The answer of course is Muesli Neural Machine Learning Network Algorithms & AI.

It gets even better. Our Crooked Auditors will make sure, that every company we invest in, don't have to worry too much about negative cashflows or inadequate auditing practices: only thing you, as a founder must worry about, is providing us constant and scalable growth. It's all about the numbers! To help you succeed, our Mueslinture Consultation Services (Affiliate of Muesli Venture Capital) has built a new sophisticated model to valuate your future profits: Muesli Power Model. Instead of just multiplying future revenues or profits like int the days of yore, we also use power law to correctly take into account the quarterly losses: more losses mean more aggressive growth and more probability of reaching unicorn status. More cash you burn, more valuable your company is (see illustration).