Half now, half later

Half now, half later.

One of my business associates, who got dirty rich with his earlier venture in waste disposal management, shared some of his wisdoms with me the other day. "Always demand half of the money now and the other half when the job is done." I was intrigued and immediately knew the deal. He learnt this business tactic the hard way when his company Luigi's Waste Disposal Management got its first customers in Naples, Italy. Some of the customers did not know the deal and had problems paying the bills in time. Only after some serious negotiations with baseball bats, did they finally give in the cash.

Thereafter, Luigi's Waste Disposal Management always demanded half of the payment beforehand and the business was never better. How simple! I immediately rushed to our Jewish Auditor's office and told him that we should always demand half of the future earnings in advance. He said that our business does not work that way, so I fired him at the spot. I then took control of our funds finances and suddenly our cash balances grew 51%. DeepMuesli Machine Learning Algorithms & AI then allocated these new funds in our MuesliCoin cryptocurrency and the coins value spiked over 500% in intraday trading until it dropped to the previous levels before closing. But fear not, we had already putted short positions on the coin by then!

However, since our Jewish Auditor is the only person in this world who knows how to file our funds tax returns, I needed him back. We settled our differences and he started to work on our tax scheme (not going into details here, but summa summarum: British Virgin Islands merry-go-around spiced with Double Irish Goodbye and Quick & Dirty Luxembourgian Hit & Run).