A few months ago, I told Muesli Venture Capital Investors I did not trade MuesliCoins with terrorist organizations. My heart and my best intentions tell me that’s true, but the facts and evidence tell me it is not.
As our auditors reported, what began as a strategic opening to Iran deteriorated, in its implementation into laundering money for terrorists via MuesliCoins. This runs counter to my own beliefs, to Mueslify policy, and to the original strategy our fund had in mind. There are reasons why it happened, but no excuses. It was a mistake.
I have instructed my consultants to fire all junior analysts and paralegals who had taken part in these extra-legal activities. Generous exit bonuses and strict non-disclosure agreements ensure no further problems for our fund will emerge from this scandal.
As CEO, I will personally assemble a Mueslify Ethics Committee to ensure no such lapses of judgement will be possible in the future. The Committee will be led and consisted by me and will congregate once a year in a private island in Caribbean Sea. Our fund will appropriate ample funds into Committee’s disposal to ensure its success in trying to mitigate corruption and chronic illegalities of our subordinates.
It is now time to put this undesirable scandal to rest and concentrate on bright future ahead of us.